Comprehensive Leadership Program, Speech

 I lost dancing. I had lost it coming into Gonzaga. For context, I am not a skillful or trained dancer at all. I did take lessons as a child during my elementary school years, however, never really stuck with it in a competitive setting. I love dancing, more than most things in this life. Fun fact about me is that my dream job as a child was to be a dancer. I would spend hours watching dance battles and movies like Step Up and Stomp The Yard, and then trying to learn their choreography in my room. I have old video tapes of me setting up cameras trying to teach myself break dancing for hours on end. I was dedicated. Clearly, I am not the accomplished dancer I thought I would be today. And to be completely frank, I can’t even do a backflip. Still, my life is better when I’m moving my body. For me, as someone who is looking for the dance floor and will always bust a move when the right tunes are on, there is a level of self expression I’ve come to learn through these movements. Expression that is not always achieved through communicating through words which makes sense for me, because (another fun fact) I wasn’t able to communicate any real words for the first couple speaking years of my life, as I could only say spider man. I thought I would be telling my mom I want food or I’m tired, but instead of saying “food” or anything else, I could only burst out a frustrated Spider-Man!

All of that being said, it is as a senior about to graduate from Gonzaga that I can truly say that coming into this experience I had lost dancing and it is through CLP and getting to know all of my classmates, I was able to find it again. 

As some of you may know, I had a unique path through not only CLP but Gonzaga as a whole. Instead of coming to Spokane, in the fall of 2020, with the rest of my class, I decided to stay back in Portland with my mom and younger brother. My mom’s ex boyfriend we had just found out was cheating on her, leaving us without a place for our second time, and recently found my dad living out of his car in the local Walmart parking lot. Given our circumstances, I figured it would be best to stay back with my family for at least a few more months. We found a place, got moved in, I worked as a barista for the first time during this time and really just hung out with my little brother Max and my mom. I moved up to Spokane in the dead of winter in January 2021 with a mop of hair and big eyes, ready to start my college career. As the semester was going on, my then roommate in Coughlin was in CLP and was telling me I should join. Sure enough, I met more and more people in CLP and getting to know the crowd, I was thinking, “Yeah, this is something I would love to be a part of”. And I fancy leadership, I was ASB Unity Director in high school. (Which I couldn’t even really tell you what that meant, and I know I might be the face of unity as a straight white man, but I was Unity Director yes). I reached out to Josh explaining my situation coming to Gonzaga a semester late and an application and zoom call later, and I was a part of the Comprehensive Leadership Program. 

I started my CLP journey in the fall of sophomore year with none other than Dr. Aaron McMurray. Still sort of getting a vibe for it and trying to read the other kids body languages as I’m the one entering this community late, I wanted to make sure I was respectful of all that there was that preexisted me. It didn’t take long to feel as though I had been there the whole time. I still remember one class, Dr. McMurray noticed how tired and spent we all were. We weren’t doing much to hide it and we spent the entire class just complaining about how tired we are and how busy we all are. Although it was two hours spent sharing in each other's anguish, it was the most refreshing way we could’ve spent that class. To feel that way is one thing, but to be able to share that feeling with everyone else and have that moment where the twenty of us in the classroom all realized “oh shit you’re also in this with me” was an indication I knew I was in a community I wanted to be in. 

Second semester came around and I had the one and only Ben Chu. This class holds a special place in my heart. Prof. Ben Chu was one of those people in my life whom I try to live as closely as I can on a day to day basis. I know we’ve all had those people that whether we’re aware of it or not we might find ourselves asking “what would Ben do?” or “what would Ben say?” Such an embodiment of understanding and empathy all found through perseverance I couldn’t have asked for a better leader or mentor especially for the emotional intelligence unit. Ben taught me, instilled within me, the need to understand. To understand yourself is one of the greatest treasures of all. You won’t be able to understand everything, spoiler alert. But you can get pretty damn close, and it’s worth everything to keep trying to understand. 

This last semester was the greatest treat of all to be able to spend it with the entire cohort. And I don’t know about you guys but I genuinely enjoyed every Wednesday with you. It was the highlight of my week, I damn near thought of it as a safe haven as I look back on it. It was the perfect summation of the past three years spent together.

It wasn't until we wrapped up our final CLP class as an entire cohort I realized, it was everyone I had met from professors to my cohort that it was you guys who showed me how to dance again. You guys taught me how to dance better than I ever imagined. There isn’t another community or program I could have been a part of at Gonzaga that would have helped me find dancing again like you guys have. It is daunting and a bit terrifying finally going into the “real world” and even more frightening that I won’t have you guys there, but I am forever appreciative of my fellow seniors who have helped me rediscover what it means to dance by myself and with others. And I know what comes next, will be marvelous. Thank you.